I have…this internal pressure to be liked by people that I don’t even know. To live up to this reputation that was set upon me by people outside of myself.
Read MoreSpeak Of The Devil
She was just a girl, in love, coerced into doing something by someone who she thought loved her back. That person…took advantage of her—and yet, she was demonised.
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Here’s a fun little fact for you all that partake in the above nonsense: everyone thinks you’re an idiot. Not only are you breaking the rules, you’re amplifying your wrong-doing for the world to see. You’re handing out your incompetence on a silver platter.
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Trigger warning: sexual assault, sexual abuse
Survivors have experienced enough heartache. Victims have experienced enough pain. It is only fair and right and just that they have the autonomy to speak their truths without further agony.
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Why hasn’t life turned out the way that I want it to turn out, the way that I need it to turn out? Why am I second guessing myself?
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I’ve only come to realise now, as a 29-year-old, still living at home, single gypsy that would much rather spend thousands of dollars on the Summer music festival season than pay off her credit card debt in one lump sum, that you can’t win ‘em all.
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My soul feels like it’s being crushed in a sandwich press, only there’s no beautiful, oozing tasty cheese escaping from the confines of my brain bread, just my sadness and pain being pushed on so tightly that I can’t help but let it concern my every waking minute.
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Everyone and everything has their own journey, their own path. Some things fizzle completely. Some things move away and come back together. Some things are there forever. Why should we, as humans, try and manipulate the natural order of our lives rather than just be?
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As humans, we are so quick to judge. So quick to react and feel that we know what’s best for others, especially when we’re not connected to them on an emotional level. Famous people or people in the public eye are the easiest to target because, ultimately, they are generally not connected to us. They’re a distant idolised image of what we may want our lives to be and, sometimes, we instinctually attack what they say and do. Because we feel like we can. Rather than seeking to understand, we find our assumptions and run with them. We’re all guilty of it. And that needs to stop.
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One day might be different from another. We could have flow, I might be feeling a spark and become engrossed in a conversation which may allude to the idea of us meeting for a drink, going on a date and, yes, potentially even hooking up. But then another day may come around—where I realise that it was a heat of the moment feeling, and suddenly I’m starting to feel uncomfortable. I may have a gut feeling, alarm bells may start to ring, and I may decide to rebuke past feelings/ideas in order to appease my current state of mind.
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